Just Another Day in the Life of A Waitress

I’ve been waitressing for two and a half years now and boy, I tell ya — this industry is laborious and sometimes, thankless and unforgiving. Tonight, I was by myself, which I don’t mind. Usually, I work well with another female server and we make a good team, but she wasn’t able to come in tonight, so I had the floor. It wasn’t too bad, but after two hours on my feet, my feet were in pain and I couldn’t wait to get home and lay down. 

You see, I started this job at theheight of Covid because the Stay-at-Home orders was affecting my mental health. An opportunity to get outside came when a local Sushi Restaurant and Hibachi Grill was looking for helpers. I had never served in a restaurant or have been a waitress, but since the opportunity came along, I took it and have been serving ever since. 

I started out making mistakes, but it didn’t take long to get into the flow of waitressing and providing customer service. I’m a very personable and outgoing person. During the Pandemic, people still wanted to get out somewhere and dine in. Surprisingly, we managed to survive the pandemic while many others were going out of business. We were busy! 

We followed all the rules and regulations that were required during that period, but I didn't mind taking the extra steps to be cautious, wear masks, and sanitize as long as I could get out and do something. It really was my sanity saver.

I live in a college town with a diverse populace. Some days are better than others. Some days are filled with the evening’s dinner rush. Other times, the night gets slow and we only get a few dine-ins. Some nights, I go home with good tips. Other times, I go home with change. Those days make me want to cry. I work not only this job, but I have a day job as well. I work two part-time jobs just to make ends meet and it’s easy for me to become a workaholic, but I don’t want to be that anymore. The restaurant industry is very fluid. You just never know what to expect. 

So, you take each day planning for the worst, but expecting the best. Some customers are quirky and peculiar. Others are amazingly compassionate, appreciative and understanding. Then there are the ones in-between who, like a little leaven, can spoil the whole lump of bread. That was such a night with my last table. They come in, eat and leave little or no tips. 

At this point, I’m exhausted, my feet hurt and I want to sit down and rest, but I can’t because I have work to do. Mind you, I have a lot of customers that love me and appreciate my service. I love what I do. I love serving people in any capacity that I can (charitable service, humanitarian aid, moral support, and/or emotional and spiritual support). I give 100% in everything that I do. Sometimes, without reward (not that I’m looking for one). I love working. I don’t know what to do if I’m not working. 

REFLECTING ON MY LIFE IN SERVICE THAT INSTILLED IN ME A HARD WORK ETHIC

My whole life I feel like I’ve had to fight forward in both my personal life and my career. I have always been a hard worker due to coming from a hard-working middle class family and military discipline. If there is one thing that I can honorably say about serving in the Navy, it is that it truly made me into a hard worker. In the military, you become a Jack-of-All-Trades. 

Literally, you not only have a career field, but there are also additional duties, skills, leadership development, and community services that is often encouraged or required depending on where you are and who you work for. 

For example, my work in the Navy was a very arduous and demanding job. I used to launch aircraft off the flight deck of a Navy aircraft carrier where I would work about 22 hours each day we were out-to-sea conducting sea trial operations. I not only did that, but I was also responsible for conducting training for 45 personnel, while maintaining clean spaces that I was responsible for and pulling additional duties not related to my career (serving in the dining area, cleaning spaces, conducting maintenance, and supervising two people that were assigned to me). 

As a matter of fact, I was a work-a-holic for many years when I lived in California because of what was ingrained in me during those four years in service. Later, after the events of September 11, 2001, I crossed over into the Air Force and served an additional term. Part of working so much is also due to some suppressed trauma along with this military compartmentalized disciplined attitude to “Suck-it-Up” and push forward “Embracing the Suck.” 

Meaning, “ an expression in the US military that means you should accept suffering, hardships, and difficulties in stride (Operation Military Kids, 2022). Another way to describe it is to consciously accept something that is extremely unpleasant but unavoidable for forward progression (Vets Helping Vets, 2020). 

After 21 years working, bopping around from job to job and place to place, I hit burnout in 2018 when I was living and working in California. I decided to move completely out of California, take a part-time job and start my life over in the Midwest to focus on self-care and my mental health, but still having to work to make ends meet. (With the way things are going in our economy, I might have to take on three jobs instead of two, LoL).

Back to my night at the restaurant — an East Indian group of four came in to dine. They were new to the restaurant. As I usually do with a new customer, I welcome them and give them a backstory on our history and then precede to go over the menu recommending a variety of vegetarian or non-meat options, as was their preference. At one point in my serving them, one of them had a piece of metal in the food they were eating, which came off of a metal scrubbing scouring pad. 

I responded immediately with apologies, said I would have the kitchen make a new batch at no charge, and notified the owner of the restaurant what happened. I offered the best service that I could. At my expense, the food was replaced. I told the owner of the restaurant that I would not charge for the food that was being replaced and he shook his head ‘No,’ not to do that. The owner who runs the restaurant is Chinese. 

Sometimes it is hard to communicate or try to explain things or improve the way we do things because of the language barrier. I have been in the customer service industry for over 21 years. I know that an incident like this, not resolved to the customer’s satisfaction could be bad for business. As a result, I took it off my tips at the end of the night despite what the owner said. It is something I often do anyway when a mistake is made or when trying to right a wrong and ensure the customer leaves satisfied.

Despite my best to provide excellent service, I was given no tip. I was feeling discouraged and had to remind myself not to let one table mess up my night because there are so many other wonderful customers that love and appreciate me. These customers are what I call my “regulars.” The ones that come in often, if not every week or other week for their sushi fix. I enjoy seeing them often and love the relationship I have built with them over the past couple of years.

CULTURAL DIFFERENCES 

Upon my reflection at the end of the night, this lesson in serving non-Americans has taught me to consider cultural differences. I did a bit of research and found that outside of America, tips are not expected at all, whereas, in America, tips are expected, and most Americans tip generously. Side note: tips in America are expected. So, if you are a person of non-American descent reading this article who is not accustomed to tipping at restaurants, please recognize that and do your best to provide one at 15, 18, or 20% (especially if service was excellent. 

Meaning, friendly, personable service where a server understands their customers, know how to check-in with the table, refills drinks, and caters to your satisfaction.) I’ll elaborate more about that later in this blog, but for a quick reference, here is a great article that goes into detail regarding tipping in America that I recommend: https://www.wanderlustingk.com/travel-blog/tipping-in-the-usa. (See more tips about the restaurant industry below.) 

Waitressing is hard work for low pay. I don’t get a paycheck. I live off the tips I receive. However, I recently cut back on my hours since it has become extremely painful on my feet just for waitressing one shift. I used to be able to work 3–4 days a week, but I have had to cut back to minimize stress, over work, and the physical pain of being on my feet. Speaking of feet, are you a shoe hoarder? LoL. I am. 

It’s not like I love buying shoes, but good fitting shoes that are comfortable are so hard to find! The really good ones — Brooks, for example, start at $100 and then go up from there. I don’t have flat feet and I don’t have diabetes, which is good. I’m not sure if having the right shoes would help, but as much as I have tried to maintain my feet with the best shoes — it’s hard to keep up. I don’t have it in my budget to spend $130 on a pair of Brooks running shoes or any other brand name high-end shoe for standing/running all day.

Sketchers Go Walks in Heather Charcoal. No longer available. 

I used to have this amazing pair of Sketchers Go Walks that I would wear and could get through my night with ease, but they wore out fast after all the wear and tear. 

Sadly, I haven’t been able to find a good pair of Go Walks since. It has been a hit and miss looking for a good pair of Go Walks over the last couple of years. As a result, I have wasted money on trying to find a decent pair of good shoes to stand and walk in. Do you have a hard time finding the right shoe? It’s like going Easter egg hunting for chocolate and not real eggs. 

My doctor is referring me to a podiatrist for custom orthotics, but it will take at least two months to be seen. For now, I just have to grin and bear it and see if I can find some good, but not-so-expensive shoes. 

Hopefully, if I can gather enough extra money after all my bills are paid, food stocked in my fridge and gas in my tank. I’ll see what is left over to hopefully get by.

As I mentioned earlier, tips are how servers make their living. Unfortunately, many people don’t understand how to tip or the work involved unless you’ve been in it. I won’t go into too many details, but I will say this — why don’t I get paid the minimum wage rate and receive a check? Have you seen the food costs lately while grocery shopping and the gas prices at the gas station? (insert nervous emoji face here) 

Prices are spiking up, folks and it ain’t pretty, unless you’re rich. Supply and demand, people. And we can’t forget our good ole’ unwanted nuisance of a neighbor, inflation. Have you researched and calculated the cost in what it takes to run a business, or in this case, a restaurant? 

I’m not a business owner, but I’d like to be. I’m not an expert on owning a business, but if you’re a smart mathematical person (I can’t say I am), you‘ll be able to calculate prime cost, cost of goods sold, revenue per available seat per hour, and retention/repeat visitor rate, against incoming cash flow, overhead, bills, health insurance, life insurance, food costs, taxes, employee wages, fees and licenses. 

There’s probably more to that, but that’s a good basis to start in researching what it takes to run a business. As for us servers, we share our tips. It’s called a “tipout.” Unfortunately, I don’t take home everything I earn. It’s like your W-2 paycheck. You gross a certain amount of money, but only take home a small net income after all the deductions. 

If you want a real break down on a server’s pay, I recommend this article. It’ll be worth the read and enlighten your understanding if you aren't already. With that said, it is 01:00 AM and I need to go to bed because I have to go to my day job tomorrow. 

It’s Monday. Time to clock in on the W-2. I could write forever if my W-2 job wasn’t a factor, but it is. Someday — someday, I’d like to successfully be a 1099. I tried and failed in an MLM venture, but I’ll try again. In the meantime, I must render to Ceasar what is Ceasar’s.

References: 

Operation Military Kids (2022). Embrace The Suck Meaning: 5 Things You Never Knew. Retrieved January 30, 2023. https://www.operationmilitarykids.org/embrace-the-suck-meaning/ Vets Helping Vets (2020). 

Embrace The Suck. Retrieved January 30, 2023. https://www.facebook.com/military.veterans/posts/embrace-the-suck-verb-military-slang-to-consciously-accept-or-appreciate-somethi/3135187976515178/